Monday, April 20, 2009

Psalms, Milestone, Miscommunications

Live: I love Psalms. When my own words fail me and I'm searching for prayers, the book of Psalm is where I turn. Lately, they have been such a reminder of a steadfast God. A God that does not ignore my words, and who knows my every feeling and emotion. Nothing is hidden to Him, and I want to take full advantage of the refuge I can find in Him. Passages like, "I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him, before him I tell my trouble" and, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living," " [...] in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief." It's powerful to me. I have the creator of the universe on my side. He covets the time I invest, and His favor is for me. Beautiful. Though I may be worried about how life will pan out in the next few years, there is a God who longs for me to lay it all down at His throne; to be still and know that He will take care of all. I am continuously reminded of His faithfulness.

Love: It occured to me that Daniel and I are almost two months away from being married a year. That, I love.

Laugh: Looking back on this past weekend and my food fiasco, I laugh. Recalling the emotions and thoughts I had over this past weekend and my food fiasco, I didn't laugh. As I was trudging through the week, I knew that I had to make a side dish for a potluck-type lunch we were going to attending Sunday. It's a side dish, no big deal. Well, I couldn't figure out what to bring, so I got this recipe from a book at the library that looked promising. There were a few strange ingredient mixtures, but I guess I overlooked them initially. As I started mixing everything, I was grossed out. I hate cayenne pepper and cumin... and there was a lot of it. There was sugar and celery salt, lemon juice and onions, I thought I was going to puke. Daniel says to leave it alone and just bring it. I just couldn't get over the fact of how gross it was. I had a sleepless Saturday night fretting over this stupid dish. "I know, I'll just bring it and make something else in the morning before I have to leave at 7am!" Obviously I was over thinking this whole situation. I was resting assured that at least my jello-jigglers which I had also prepared would be jiggly and flawless. They were my remedy. Back up a few moments, I had mentioned to Daniel that if we wanted he could put a second layer of jello on Sunday morning before he went to church (I had to be there early), but I also mentioned that if I had time, I could as well. Flawless, remember? Sunday morning comes and I put another layer of jello on (yum, strawberry and blue jello layer perfectly). My morning conitnues and I warn those to be a lunch that my dip sucks, but the jello will be okay. As Daniel and I are listening to the teaching, I lean over and say, "Were you happy that I did the jello this morning?" And he looked at me and said, "I did the jello this morning!" I almost died. WHAT?!?!?! Needless-to-say, my perfect jello was tainted with watermelon jello (I didn't even know we had waltermelon jello), and both of my dishes.... sucked. Well, people eneded up liking both... but thus proves the point that if you think you have communicated enough, you haven't.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Work, Soy Milk, Retainers

Live: Today I was working all day. I know, most of America works all day... but today it really got to me. The sun was shining (which, it hasn't done in a week or more) and everything outside looked so peaceful and happy. I wanted to be anywhere but at work. Blah. This got me to thinking, "self, make sure when you grow up that you get a job you absolutely love, never settle for less." Thanks, self. Sometimes I find myself searching for my life's path only in a way to better the perception others have of me. It looks a lot more impressive to go to grad school and continue on to your doctorate while balancing a home life with a husband and three chitlins. But seriously? That really isn't me. I guess, maybe it is, and I just don't know about it now. I suppose I should just make my decisions very carefully. You really only have one life to live, and you might as well do something you love everyday. May I be so in touch with my Jesus that His will for my life will naturally flow and blossom, so that I can live a life of fullness in His glory.

Love: Do you ever have something in your life that you don't love but you wish with every fiber within you did? Something that you tell yourself over and over again that you love, just in case you'll believe yourself? For me, it's soy milk. Man I love soy pods SO much, and I love milk SO much. WHY CAN'T I LIKE SOY MILK? It's frustrating!! It's healthy, classy, AND is a free upgrade with a registered Starbucks card. Please body, love soy milk. For me?

Laugh: When I was younger I wore braces, just like every other American child (at least it seems). And now, as a grown girl, I have nightly retainers. Now, I may not wear them religiously, but my smile changes if I don't wear them for a while so I try real hard to wear them as much as possible. TMI? It gets worse. As I lay there in bed, with my subconscious running free, my retainers are usually removed from my mouth (no, not from some alien abduction) by my hands and put in random places. Sometimes under my pillow, in the sheets, or on the nightstand. But once, I couldn't find my retainers for the life of me. With my bed stripped of the sheets, and pillows thrown about, I couldn't believe they weren't there. Did I eat them? It utter dispare, I meandered into the bathroom and took my hair out, only to find them nesting in what I thought was a huge knot... but was merely my retainer all screwed into my hair. Gross. The End.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Thinking, Money, Muumuus

Live: Bah, good-byes suck. The family left today, but fortunately the memories will last. I've been thinking lately about the grand scheme of life. As in, when I come to the end of the road, what will I think to be the most important things I could have, should have, done. Obviously this is complex because to my knowledge I'll be here a while. And, who knows what I will think then. So with my best judgment I've been thinking about it.

Love: If there is anyone that can show a generous love, it is my Nana. I continuously feel at a loss for words when I think about how generous she loves those around her, and those she does not know. Since my Grandpa passed away in 2001, she has been more than gracious with the money that God has given her. Yes, the money is excessive, but I don't think I'd be so willing to give so much. She supports missionaries, charities, churches, and her family. Would you be so generous? She always says, "It can't go with you, why keep it around?" Ha. My mom usually replies, "Whatever, before I die, stick some in my pocket... I'm takin' it with me!" Haha. It is such a good lesson to learn to be generous with the things (maybe gifts) God gives you.

Laugh: Muu-muu-"the loose fitting unbelted dress designed for women of all sizes, originated in Hawaii." Or in my family, a dress only worn when you want to "let your belly out". They are SO unflattering. I bought my mom and her friend one when I was in Nicaragua as a joke, and now, it's a holiday staple item. This Easter my mom and aunt, adorned in their muumuus, took to the porch to let the holiday food settle in their stomachs and to watch the neighbors. I think I might be shot for putting this photo up... but... it'll make you laugh. For more information on muumuus, please see this.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Death, Family, and Pants

Live: Sometimes, life gets to me. Not in the sense that life is rough and tough, but that life is passing; life never stops. You keep getting older, you are experiencing. It is not that you will experience (but you will), or that you did experience (because you did), but that at every moment of every day you experience. That is life.
Along those same lines, the process, idea, and fact of death scares me. I don't know if I'm merely more aware of life in general, but I feel like death happens so much and it never gets easier. I have so many instances in my life where death is so near, that I do my best not to think about it. I have friends at war, and it scares me to know that each and every day they put their lives out there. I have relatives that, lets just face it, are drawing near the end (we could all be a lot closer than we think). And the part that brings me to tears every time I think about it is that I have people in my life that are so close to me, such a part of my life, that I can't imagine living without them. Honestly, I couldn't. Gah! I hate it. Not the closeness, but the vulnerability. I hate that I have to let life happen, and to know and trust that God is sovereign over all. I don't think that God puts pain in our lives to show us about Him, but that God puts pain in our lives so that we can have complete Faith and Hope in Him alone.
What brought this "Debbie Downer" of me? Well, the pastor at the church we are currently attending went to speak at a memorial service for this lady that he knew; read about it here. And, so I was facebook stalking and reading through his blog about this lady, and then I read through her blog (yeah, the one about her cancer and how she was fighting), then I read through her husbands blog. Oh man. I bawled my eyes out. It made me think. Read it for yourself, it is really powerful. This is also a tribute to her (if you haven't checked out anything else, then this you must read!)

Love: I love the fact that my Mom, and Aunt, and Grandma are coming out see us this week. Period. I don't want them to ever leave.

Laugh: This one has been a long time coming.... and I'm way too worn out to tell the whole story.... but basically I took a dog out to poop that we were watching, completely unaware that the back to my yoga pants had been chewed off by that very dog. My derriere was exposed to anyone and everyone. Wonderful. I didn't feel a breeze (was there one?), and the dog did not notify me that the crotchel area of my pants was delicious. If you don't laugh at that... I'm at a totaly loss.